Have you ever noticed that people who suffer from the end of a relationship often respond? After the brief crying period, they suddenly start to exercise, post their outfits on social media more, change their hair and some even seek plastic surgery. So why do people go to the gym after a breakup? The answer typically depends on whether they left or were abandoned by their ex. People who break up with their former begin new routines and activities in an effort to distance themselves from their past and meet new people. To continue living their lives, they want to feel good and look nice. Whereas the one that got dumped, is putting everything on the line to make their ex regret ever leaving them.
All breakups are awful and make us feel hopeless and doubt ourselves. We become heavily insecure and doubt every single decision because we believe the person that supposedly loved us the most, has left us. We are desperate for a reason. Being rejected is never a pleasant experience, but it is something we cannot avoid, it is just a part of life. It doesn’t even always have to be with someone in a romantic way. It can be just as painful to sever relationships with friends and other people you had other connections to, and you are left moping About it for years. But the only thing you can do is process the pain and hope time heals the wounds.
Many people start going to the gym to try to forget all the sadness, anxiety, anger, and frustration that comes with such great pain. There is severe life confusion after a breakup. Although it might just be an appearance of control, it makes them feel successful. They don’t just sit around whining; they now have their lives set on changing into that body- this is what tends to move them forward.
Your brain releases endorphins when you workout and these happen to be the same ones that release when you are with your lover. These endorphins usually induce a sensation of happiness, and people do rigorous workouts to once again feel that feeling. While they tone their body and start to look even better, exercise enforces a feeling of confidence and fixes that wounded self worth. Considering the damaging consequences of overeating through sadness, and all the obesity, weariness, depression, and inadequate sleep that gets triggered due to it, exercise is actually advantageous as it fixes your physical and mental health. Regular exercise liberates you from each of these restrictions. You are free to concentrate on whatever you want but it will reduce depression, and the negative impacts of stress. It also tires you out completely so you fall asleep faster, which allows you to wake up feeling a bit more rested, and not spend the whole night crying.
This whole mindset is actually not as innocent as one might believe. To begin with, it’s probable that this sudden want to lose weight has more to do with them than it does with you. However, this is making the whole “getting fit” mindset about them rather than about you, the hurt person who should be focusing on fixing their lifestyle. To find someone else, attract more attention, and inspire jealousy in their ex-partner, individuals make it their life purpose to look enticing.
Psychologists have done substantial research on the extent to which self-esteem relies on attractiveness. There is a difference between intrinsic enjoyment and introjected self-regulation, or, to put it another way, the difference between doing something because you enjoy it and doing it because your self-worth depends on it. This drive is very significant. People feel that they must look good—and not look bad—or have a partner or girlfriend in order to feel like they have worth and value as a human being when they stake their sense of self-worth in one of these areas. That’s a lot of strain to put on yourself, particularly considering that not everyone can achieve success in the endeavors on which they stake their self-worth.
Those with low self-esteem often tend to base their self-worth on others’ approval and they are very concerned about appearing attractive and physically fit. Now appearing attractive to others doesn’t equal actually connecting with the individuals they crave validation from. However, having an anxious fear of being rejected based on appearance and a sense of self-worth that depends on validation from a significant other affects one’s motivation to strive for a “hotter” body. Now imagine if such a person has been dumped. They become extremely vulnerable and start to repair their wounded self-esteem by constantly sharing their pictures on social media. A lot of people compliment them, so now they start to emphasize even more on looks instead of caring about nurturing their inner traits like being warm, caring, or kind. They try to preserve their sense of already-fragile self worth this way and prevent future rejection because there never is a real connection to grieve about; they can just choose to feel validated from anyone on the internet.
There is a strange beauty in being broken. Your suffering is in the present and it will only give you more zeal to put yourself back together when you are done processing this pain. You slowly gain the power to turn all the unpleasant feelings you’re experiencing into something constructive. You will slowly learn, looking “hotter” won’t fix what broke the relationship and it is just a temporary diversion. After all, isn’t it better to fix the pain and the grief once, than be broken a second and third time the same way?
Remember to use this challenging time in your life to nurture your emotional maturity, self-love, and self-awareness. You’ll be able to effectively manage your stress levels once you start working out more on the side. You will soon have the strength to get stronger and more fit, and your new perspective on life will also shift. Your confidence will soar as you become more determined and driven to develop yourself.